Biblical friend

Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)

A friend loves at all times,

    and a brother is born for adversity.

The Christian life is not a solo venture. It requires teamwork. God has given us an incredible resource in our brothers and sisters in Christ. We desperately need each other so that when we want to quit, we can’t, because our friends won’t let us give up. Lasting change requires biblical friendship.

Note the qualification: biblical friendship, because not all friendships are biblical. In fact, some are very unbiblical. They not only don’t help us, but they also impede our progress on the path toward transformation. People who are growing and becoming more mature followers of Christ are surrounded by biblical friendships. Without that kind of friendships, Christians cannot flourish spiritually.

Change does not happen in a silo, just you plus God (and maybe your Bible and a flashlight). It’s time to knock the silo down and invite others into your life. As you read God’s Word, you can’t help but notice that great men and women of faith always had supportive friends around them. Always!

When you think of Abraham, you think of Sarah, his loving wife and good friend. Although she made mistakes, just like Abe, Hebrews 11:11 raves about her faith. Sarah stuck with her husband through thick and thin. Without her loving support, Abe would have had a much harder time following God’s call.

Moses’ life can’t be understood apart from the role of his supportive relationships. His brother, Aaron, spoke for him, and his father-in-law, Jethro, provided leadership consultation on how to delegate, which saved Moses’ sanity. Moses’ sister, Miriam, stood with him when the people rebelled. Moses’ friendships also extended beyond his family. When everyone else doubted, Joshua and Caleb stood with Moses, insisting that the children of Israel could conquer the land.

The list could go on and on. Ruth and Naomi loyally served each other. Alone in the seductive world of palace life, Queen Esther stood firm in her faith because of her cousin Mordecai, a solid friend to her. David and Jonathan became soul brothers. Elijah and Elisha, two prophets under attack, stuck together.

Barnabas was a true friend to Paul, even when everyone else feared the former Christian-hater. Silas and Paul sang together in prison. Paul mentored Timothy, and Timothy comforted Paul when he was again imprisoned near the end of his life. And of course, Jesus had twelve close companions who lived, ate, slept, and journeyed with Him. When Jesus sent His disciples out to do ministry, He sent them two by two. Why? Because of the power of biblical friendship.

In contrast, some of the worst disasters in the Bible happened when people had the wrong friends or no friends. Adam and Eve should have challenged each other, “What are you thinking? Don’t bite that; put it down!”

God sent the prophet Samuel to teach King Saul how to lead well, but Saul refused to listen. As a result, his life ended tragically.

David’s downfall was directly related to the lack of wise counsel from his military general and personal friend, Joab. When David sent orders to set up Uriah’s death in battle, Joab obliged. Rather than warning the king against being an accessory to murder, Joab stayed silent.

Samson had potential—handsome and strong, chosen by God from birth, with the Spirit of God resting on him. But he made foolish, self-destructive choices, and in every bitter moment, he was alone with the enemy.

Just like the men and women in God’s Word, we have abilities and potential and a desire for God, but without biblical, truth-telling friends, our lives will flop.

Do you already have biblical friends? If so, cultivate those priceless friendships! Maybe you need to verbalize your friendship and its value, even as David and Jonathan did. True, biblical friends are instruments God will use in your life to help you grow. Change flourishes when it’s a partnership; it’s easier to go where God wants you to go when you have a friend who’s on the same journey.

You need a true, biblical friend. Pray and think about someone who can hold you up when you stumble and hold you down when you stray.

Dear Lord, thank You for friends. Thank You that You don’t want us to be alone. Please help us to find a true, biblical friend who will challenge us, and help us to cultivate that friendship. Teach us to be a true friend, to love that person at all times. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

David and Jonathan

1 Samuel 20:4  (ESV)

Then Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”

If you want to know what true friendship is, the greatest biblical model that I know of is that of David and Jonathan. Jonathan was the son of David’s enemy, King Saul. Saul was out to kill David because he was insanely jealous of him and knew that he would replace him on the throne of Israel. Saul’s son Jonathan knew this and was such a loyal friend of David that he alerted David of the danger and literally saved his life when he found out that Saul wanted to kill David. Jonathan told David that, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you”

Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves and Jonathan loved David “as he loved himself” fulfilling this Royal Edict from Christ (Mark 12:31).

Jonathan was a loyal friend to David and made a plan to warn him whether he could come to King Saul’s table or whether Saul would kill him do he devised a signal for David, “Tomorrow is the New Moon feast. You will be missed, because your seat will be empty. The day after tomorrow, toward evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the stone Ezel. I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target. Then I will send a boy and say, ‘Go, find the arrows.’ If I say to him, ‘Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them here,’ then come, because, as surely as the LORD lives, you are safe; there is no danger. But if I say to the boy, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you,’ then you must go, because the LORD has sent you away”

Jonathan risked his life for David because, “Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!” “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David”. Jonathan understood that he would be next in line for the throne if David was taken out of the way and could have easily betrayed David and had the throne of Israel for himself, but Jonathan’s love and loyalty for his friend David was evident by his selfless act of saving David’s life. Jonathan was willing to risk his own life for his friend David and with the understanding that Jonathan would sacrifice his chance to rule Israel. David’s friendship was more important that the throne of Israel to Jonathan. Jonathan loved David more than a brother and he proved it by his actions in I Samuel 20.

So Jonathon sent a messenger boy to shoot arrows for the signal that it was not safe for David to return to King Saul’s presence for he would surely be killed. What a touching show of affection that Jonathan showed David because, “After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town”. David showed such respect to Jonathan that he “bowed down three times before Jonathan“, even though David knew that God had anointed him to be the eventual king. Here is the future King of Israel; the greatest earthly kind that Israel would ever have, bowing to the son of is enemy, King Saul. And “then they kissed each other and wept together – but David wept the most”.

The fact is that friends are indispensable in this life. The older a person gets the more valued their friendship becomes. Many friends are closer than brothers or sisters are to each other. There is something special about having a friend that you can confide in, tell your troubles too, and share your life with. It has been said that a sorrow shared is halved, but a joy shared is doubled. Proverbs 27:10a says, “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family” because you may need that friend in a day of trouble. The value of friends is one of the most important things in a person’s life: Their worth is not diminished by time, not devalued by inflation, not worn out by use.

Dear Lord, we thank You for our friends! Help us to work to make our friendships stronger. Help us to be the friend to someone today. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Life is not meant to be lived on our .

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  (ESV)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Think back on some of your favorite memories. What are they? What makes them so special? What makes these moments so memorable?

I would be willing to bet that in most cases, one of the things you remember the most about your favorite life moments is who you were with when they happened. Let’s face it: life is better with people who care.

Life is not meant to be lived on our own…

We need friends for companionship. We need them to help hold us accountable. But we also need support that can only be provided by other people–we need friends in the good times and the bad. Take this story for example:

Two campers decided to take a weekend trip. After spending a peaceful first night in the forest, they awoke ready for their day. As they were enjoying their morning coffee, the men suddenly spotted a very large, VERY hungry grizzly bear coming at them. One of the men quickly pulled on his running shoes. “Do you actually think you can outrun that grizzly bear?” his friend asked. “I don’t need to,” he replied. “All I have to do is outrun you!”

Most of us have friends like the one in this story: they will stand by our sides in the good times, but at the first sign of trouble, they take off running–and in the process, leave us for the “bears”! But that’s not what genuine friendship is about.

Did you notice how our verse focuses on the role of friendship in hard times? Most of us want friends like the ones described in this passage–friends who will stick around through “thick and thin”. Unfortunately, it is hard to be a friend like that. Walking through tough times with others can be difficult! So how do we live out the kind of friendship described in this text?

If we are looking for an example of great friendship, we need to look no further than Jesus himself. In the Gospel of John, Jesus tells us:

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:12-13)

Jesus showed his dedication to us by giving his life to save ours, despite our sin.

There is no question that Jesus is the most loyal friend we could ask for. Most of us want a friend like Jesus, but we aren’t always willing to be a friend like Jesus. As we strive to reflect Christ in all we say and do, my prayer is that we grow in the love we have for each other–displaying the type of friendship Jesus displayed for us.

Dear Lord, we thank You for the friends that You give each of us. Help us to be good friends to those You bring into our life. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Friendship

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

When I was younger, it was pretty easy to make and keep friends. Conflicts seemed to be dealt with quite easily. But as I’ve gotten older, friendships have become more and more complicated. There are more factors involved and conflicts can run deeper between my friends and I. We become more defensive, and find it harder to forgive and forget. I’ve found that as you get older friendships can become harder to make and harder to maintain.

God is relational and God has made us relational people. So why do we find relationships such hard work? Ever since Adam and Eve our world has been marked by strained relationships.

The book of Proverbs spends much time describing and defining friendship. One of the prime qualities of a friend is loyalty. There are friends who merely pretend. But there is friendship that goes deeper and shows more loyalty than that of a brother. According to Proverbs there will always be fair-weather friends. But a true friend will be there through thick and thin. In case we think only of the friendship we hope to receive, we are told to give this kind of loyalty.

Another quality of friendship in Proverbs is Honest Counsel. A true friend must be lovingly honest and should help shape their friend’s character.

Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you. If a friend says hard words to you out of love, this is better than kisses from an enemy. True friends will rebuke you when necessary; point out where you are going wrong. This is never easy to do, and unless you are a real friend, you probably won’t say anything negative. So if a friend of yours is sinning in some way that comes to your attention, the loving thing to do is lovingly, gently confront them.

Likewise if a friend pulls you up on something they think you are sinning in, don’t go defensive or counter attack, accept their words as words of love. For true friends counsel and encourage each other

Friends become wiser together through a healthy difference in points of view. Counsel and healthy disagreement in a friendship can make life sweeter and you sharper. A true friendship will have both elements. So be honest, frank and open with your friends.

That’s the character of true friendship. How do you stack up? Are you an honest and loyal friend? Can you say the hard words to your friends? When you friend goes through a hard time are you the first one there with a hug and phone call or prayer? Or are you nowhere to be found?

Real friends always let you in, and they never let you down.

Dear Lord, we pray that we would be a good friend to those You have given to us. Use us to help make them better. In the Name of Jesus, Amen. 

Are You Rich?

Romans 13:8 (New International Version)

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

I read a story about an elderly, blind lady living alone named Stella, one might think she should have spun long tales of hardship and misery. And I suppose she could have told such stories, but she made little room in her life for self-pity. She might have mentioned the deaths of friends and family, including her husband; the glaucoma which finally claimed her eyesight; the small pension on which she was forced to subsist and the arthritis which kept her home bound in a little trailer house. And nobody could blame her had she despaired that she had grown so dependent on others.

She never did lament about all her hardships, either past or present. Many times she would talk about her good fortune. Speaking of her son, she often would say: "My Jimmy came to see me today. He's so good to me!" Of her friends, she often commented: "I've been talking on the phone all morning. I'm so thankful I have such good friends." Then, with a slap on her knee and a broad smile on her lips, she would invariably exclaim, "I'm the richest person in the world!"

And maybe she was! She had love. She found it in her friends, her family and her faith. She had everything she needed for a happy and fulfilled life. And what’s more, she knew it.

Stella spoke of her upcoming 90th birthday. "All my family will be here," she smiled. And with that familiar slap on her knee, she exclaimed, "You know, I'm the richest person in the world!"

But she barely made that birthday celebration herself. Several days prior she was laid in a hospital bed and slipped into a coma. Her family was told she would die shortly.

However, a strange thing happened. On the day of her birthday, she opened her eyes and greeted the smiling faces of family and friends surrounding her bed. She sat up and enjoyed birthday cake while someone read cards. They told her they loved her and they said, "Good-bye." With family and friends around she smiled and whispered, "I'm the richest person in the world!"

Stella went to sleep that night and slipped peacefully away.

As I read the story I wondered if she felt sorry for those who have everything but happiness.

After all, they could be just as wealthy and happy as she, if they only realized that the greatest of all riches is love.

Let’s make it our goal to become the richest person in the world!

Dear Lord we thank You for the gift of love that You have given to each of us We pray today that we would share that love with family and friends around us so that we may be the richest person in the world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Mission Accomplished

John 14:1-3 (New International Version)

1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

It’s the story of a friendship forged during one of the worst battles of World War II, and a promise made almost 60 years earlier, a promise that was finally kept.

Harold Huggins, a U.S. veteran of 10 major campaigns in World War II and the last survivor of his battalion, traveled halfway across the United States by train on one last mission in memory of his best buddy.

"I’ve had this on my mind for 57 years, trying to locate his sister and loved ones out there in California ," says Huggins. "Part of him lives in me."

Huggins, from Albany , IL, and Mack McClain from Marysville, CA, were best friends in the army. They wound up together at Anzio Beach , Italy , the scene of one of the bloodiest battles of World War II. Mack told Harold that he didn't think he was going to make it out of there alive, so he gave Harold some mementos, a belt, some photos, and said: "’Give this to my sister, tell her that I love her,’ Huggins recalls. ’You can even give her a kiss.’"

Harold promised that if anything happened to Mack he would do what was asked. One day later, Mack was killed in an artillery barrage.

After the war, Harold looked for Mack’s sister but he never found her until Harold’s daughter sent out e-mails to various veterans groups inquiring about Mack’s relatives. Some California veterans found Mack’s sister, Grace, whose last name had changed because she married.

"We have always hoped and prayed that we would meet somebody that would tell us about Mack," says Grace.

On Thursday, August 2, 2001, at the place where his buddy’s name is engraved in marble at the Veterans Memorial in Marysville , CA , Harold Huggins kept that promise he made 57 years earlier. He met Mack’s sister for the very first time, gave her the kiss that Mack asked Harold to deliver, and entrusted to her the mementos from his fallen friend.

For an old soldier who wouldn't give up his search for a buddy’s long lost sister, there was a feeling of mission accomplished.

Today I want to remind you of Friend who died for you. In fact, He voluntarily gave His life so that you and I might live (1 Thessalonians 5:10). "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends” (John 15:13). Jesus Christ demonstrated this great love and died for our sins so that you and I might live with Him forever in heaven.

God’s mission of salvation was accomplished when Jesus paid the price for our sins on the cross (Ephesians 1:7).

Dear Lord we thank You for finishing the mission. We thank You for dying on the cross and raising from the dead so that we may have eternal live through You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Friendship in the Pit.

Proverbs 17:17 (New International Version)



A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.






Here is a story I received in an email last year. I thought it was a good thing to share.


"I am in there again," I told my friend. "The pit." A time when no one can cheer you up and you wonder if there ever was or is a God. Have you ever had such times? Discouragement can be devastating even to the best of saints. It can bring us so low. The writer of Proverbs phrased it well when he said, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). When we get so low that we despair of our belief, we can identify with the prophet Elijah who wanted to die after being so discouraged with life.


"I'm coming over," my friend said.


"Aw, you don't have to do that," I said.


"I'm coming over. We're going to pray."


About 30 minutes later my friend walked in the door. We sat down on the living room floor and simply lay on our backs as my friend began to pray. I didn't feel like praying. I was too deep in the pit. All I could do was listen. After a while my friend was quiet. We both sat quietly for ten to fifteen minutes, praying quietly to ourselves. Suddenly my friend said, "First Thessalonians 5:24!"


"What verse is that?" I asked.


"I don't know," she said. "That is the verse He spoke to me."


I grabbed my Bible and looked up the verse. "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it."


We laughed. Can He be so personal? Can He care that much? That night I grew more in my love of my two friends, not to mention being brought out of the pit.


As I read the story I wondered. Do you have a friend who is there when you need somebody at any hour of the day? Are you there for your friend? Ask the Lord how you can be a better friend to someone today.






Dear Lord we pray that we would be the friend to someone today. Help our eyes be open so that we can see those who need a friend. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Friendship like a Goose.

Its Fall, when you see Geese heading South for the winter. ..flying along in V formation... you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way: As each bird flaps its Wings, it creates an Uplift for the bird immediately Following.



By flying in V formation, the Whole Flock adds at least 71% greater Flying Range than if each bird Flew on its Own. People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.


When a goose Falls out of Formation it suddenly feels the Drag and Resistance of trying to go it alone...and quickly gets back into formation to take Advantage of the Lifting Power of the bird in front.


If we have as much sense as a goose we will stay in formation with those who are headed the same way we are. When the Head Goose gets tired it rotates back in the Wing and another goose flies Point. It as sensible to take turns doing demanding jobs with people or with geese flying south. Geese honk from behind to Encourage those up Front to keep up their Speed.


What do we say when we honk from behind?


Finally.. .and this is important...when a goose get sick, or it is wounded by Gunshots, and falls out of Formation, two other Geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend Help and Protection. They stay with the Fallen Goose until it is able to Fly, or until it dies; and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another Formation to catch up with their Group.


If we have the sense of a goose we will stand by each other like that.






A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.


- Proverbs 17:17 (New Living Translation)






Dear Lord we pray that we will be the friend to others that they need. Help us be an encouragement to those we come into contact with today. In Jesus’ name, amen.