Biblical friend

Proverbs 17:17 (ESV)

A friend loves at all times,

    and a brother is born for adversity.

The Christian life is not a solo venture. It requires teamwork. God has given us an incredible resource in our brothers and sisters in Christ. We desperately need each other so that when we want to quit, we can’t, because our friends won’t let us give up. Lasting change requires biblical friendship.

Note the qualification: biblical friendship, because not all friendships are biblical. In fact, some are very unbiblical. They not only don’t help us, but they also impede our progress on the path toward transformation. People who are growing and becoming more mature followers of Christ are surrounded by biblical friendships. Without that kind of friendships, Christians cannot flourish spiritually.

Change does not happen in a silo, just you plus God (and maybe your Bible and a flashlight). It’s time to knock the silo down and invite others into your life. As you read God’s Word, you can’t help but notice that great men and women of faith always had supportive friends around them. Always!

When you think of Abraham, you think of Sarah, his loving wife and good friend. Although she made mistakes, just like Abe, Hebrews 11:11 raves about her faith. Sarah stuck with her husband through thick and thin. Without her loving support, Abe would have had a much harder time following God’s call.

Moses’ life can’t be understood apart from the role of his supportive relationships. His brother, Aaron, spoke for him, and his father-in-law, Jethro, provided leadership consultation on how to delegate, which saved Moses’ sanity. Moses’ sister, Miriam, stood with him when the people rebelled. Moses’ friendships also extended beyond his family. When everyone else doubted, Joshua and Caleb stood with Moses, insisting that the children of Israel could conquer the land.

The list could go on and on. Ruth and Naomi loyally served each other. Alone in the seductive world of palace life, Queen Esther stood firm in her faith because of her cousin Mordecai, a solid friend to her. David and Jonathan became soul brothers. Elijah and Elisha, two prophets under attack, stuck together.

Barnabas was a true friend to Paul, even when everyone else feared the former Christian-hater. Silas and Paul sang together in prison. Paul mentored Timothy, and Timothy comforted Paul when he was again imprisoned near the end of his life. And of course, Jesus had twelve close companions who lived, ate, slept, and journeyed with Him. When Jesus sent His disciples out to do ministry, He sent them two by two. Why? Because of the power of biblical friendship.

In contrast, some of the worst disasters in the Bible happened when people had the wrong friends or no friends. Adam and Eve should have challenged each other, “What are you thinking? Don’t bite that; put it down!”

God sent the prophet Samuel to teach King Saul how to lead well, but Saul refused to listen. As a result, his life ended tragically.

David’s downfall was directly related to the lack of wise counsel from his military general and personal friend, Joab. When David sent orders to set up Uriah’s death in battle, Joab obliged. Rather than warning the king against being an accessory to murder, Joab stayed silent.

Samson had potential—handsome and strong, chosen by God from birth, with the Spirit of God resting on him. But he made foolish, self-destructive choices, and in every bitter moment, he was alone with the enemy.

Just like the men and women in God’s Word, we have abilities and potential and a desire for God, but without biblical, truth-telling friends, our lives will flop.

Do you already have biblical friends? If so, cultivate those priceless friendships! Maybe you need to verbalize your friendship and its value, even as David and Jonathan did. True, biblical friends are instruments God will use in your life to help you grow. Change flourishes when it’s a partnership; it’s easier to go where God wants you to go when you have a friend who’s on the same journey.

You need a true, biblical friend. Pray and think about someone who can hold you up when you stumble and hold you down when you stray.

Dear Lord, thank You for friends. Thank You that You don’t want us to be alone. Please help us to find a true, biblical friend who will challenge us, and help us to cultivate that friendship. Teach us to be a true friend, to love that person at all times. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Bring a friend to Jesus

Luke 5:17-26 (ESV)

17 On one of those days, as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there, who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea and from Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was with him to heal. 18 And behold, some men were bringing on a bed a man who was paralyzed, and they were seeking to bring him in and lay him before Jesus, 19 but finding no way to bring him in, because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and let him down with his bed through the tiles into the midst before Jesus. 20 And when he saw their faith, he said, “Man, your sins are forgiven you.” 21 And the scribes and the Pharisees began to question, saying, “Who is this who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 22 When Jesus perceived their thoughts, he answered them, “Why do you question in your hearts? 23 Which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? 24 But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he said to the man who was paralyzed—“I say to you, rise, pick up your bed and go home.” 25 And immediately he rose up before them and picked up what he had been lying on and went home, glorifying God. 26 And amazement seized them all, and they glorified God and were filled with awe, saying, “We have seen extraordinary things today.”

We have looked at friends and friendship in the last few devotions. I want to take a look at some questions regarding friends and what God wants us to do for them.

1.  What is a quality we most look for in a friend?

2.  What are some benefits of friendship?

3.  What are some good reasons that people seek friendship?

4.  How well do your friends know you?

5.  How well do you know your friends?

Now let’s look at some questions form our verses.

1.  How would you describe the paralyzed man’s friends from this story? Why?

2.  Why do you think they did what they did?

3.   Look closely, whose faith does Jesus take note of in order to heal the paralyzed man?

4.   We already know what the Pharisees and teachers of the law thought, but how do you think the other people reacted to this interruption?

5.   Do you have friends like this? How do you know?

6.   Do you think your friends consider you as good as the paralyzed man’s friends? Why or why not?

7.   How important is Jesus within your friendships?

8.   To what lengths are you willing to go to make sure your friends know Jesus?

9.   What can you do to make sure all of your friends know Jesus?

I don’t know about you but I know I want to have those kinds of friends around me, and I also want to be that kind of friend to others.

1.  How well do you really know your friends?

2.  Do they know Jesus?

3.  Are they saved?

4.  Do you know if they have a relationship with the Lord of all lords?

5.   If so, great! If not, what are you going to do about it?

Here is a challenge for everyone.  Take out your cell phones and get ready to send a text to a friend whose salvation you’re not sure of – maybe you know they don’t love Jesus, or you’re just not sure.  Send them the following message: Hey, can we talk about something really important soon? If so, I’ll call you later.

Spend some time in prayer about what you are going to do for your friends this week.

Dear Lord, we pray that we would be bold this week and reach out and bring a friend to You. We pray that You would put that person upon our heart today. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

David and Jonathan

1 Samuel 20:4  (ESV)

Then Jonathan said to David, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”

If you want to know what true friendship is, the greatest biblical model that I know of is that of David and Jonathan. Jonathan was the son of David’s enemy, King Saul. Saul was out to kill David because he was insanely jealous of him and knew that he would replace him on the throne of Israel. Saul’s son Jonathan knew this and was such a loyal friend of David that he alerted David of the danger and literally saved his life when he found out that Saul wanted to kill David. Jonathan told David that, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you”

Jesus told us to love our neighbor as ourselves and Jonathan loved David “as he loved himself” fulfilling this Royal Edict from Christ (Mark 12:31).

Jonathan was a loyal friend to David and made a plan to warn him whether he could come to King Saul’s table or whether Saul would kill him do he devised a signal for David, “Tomorrow is the New Moon feast. You will be missed, because your seat will be empty. The day after tomorrow, toward evening, go to the place where you hid when this trouble began, and wait by the stone Ezel. I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target. Then I will send a boy and say, ‘Go, find the arrows.’ If I say to him, ‘Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them here,’ then come, because, as surely as the LORD lives, you are safe; there is no danger. But if I say to the boy, ‘Look, the arrows are beyond you,’ then you must go, because the LORD has sent you away”

Jonathan risked his life for David because, “Saul’s anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, “You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don’t I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!” “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?” Jonathan asked his father. But Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him. Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David”. Jonathan understood that he would be next in line for the throne if David was taken out of the way and could have easily betrayed David and had the throne of Israel for himself, but Jonathan’s love and loyalty for his friend David was evident by his selfless act of saving David’s life. Jonathan was willing to risk his own life for his friend David and with the understanding that Jonathan would sacrifice his chance to rule Israel. David’s friendship was more important that the throne of Israel to Jonathan. Jonathan loved David more than a brother and he proved it by his actions in I Samuel 20.

So Jonathon sent a messenger boy to shoot arrows for the signal that it was not safe for David to return to King Saul’s presence for he would surely be killed. What a touching show of affection that Jonathan showed David because, “After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the LORD, saying, ‘The LORD is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’” Then David left, and Jonathan went back to the town”. David showed such respect to Jonathan that he “bowed down three times before Jonathan“, even though David knew that God had anointed him to be the eventual king. Here is the future King of Israel; the greatest earthly kind that Israel would ever have, bowing to the son of is enemy, King Saul. And “then they kissed each other and wept together – but David wept the most”.

The fact is that friends are indispensable in this life. The older a person gets the more valued their friendship becomes. Many friends are closer than brothers or sisters are to each other. There is something special about having a friend that you can confide in, tell your troubles too, and share your life with. It has been said that a sorrow shared is halved, but a joy shared is doubled. Proverbs 27:10a says, “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family” because you may need that friend in a day of trouble. The value of friends is one of the most important things in a person’s life: Their worth is not diminished by time, not devalued by inflation, not worn out by use.

Dear Lord, we thank You for our friends! Help us to work to make our friendships stronger. Help us to be the friend to someone today. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Life is not meant to be lived on our .

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  (ESV)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Think back on some of your favorite memories. What are they? What makes them so special? What makes these moments so memorable?

I would be willing to bet that in most cases, one of the things you remember the most about your favorite life moments is who you were with when they happened. Let’s face it: life is better with people who care.

Life is not meant to be lived on our own…

We need friends for companionship. We need them to help hold us accountable. But we also need support that can only be provided by other people–we need friends in the good times and the bad. Take this story for example:

Two campers decided to take a weekend trip. After spending a peaceful first night in the forest, they awoke ready for their day. As they were enjoying their morning coffee, the men suddenly spotted a very large, VERY hungry grizzly bear coming at them. One of the men quickly pulled on his running shoes. “Do you actually think you can outrun that grizzly bear?” his friend asked. “I don’t need to,” he replied. “All I have to do is outrun you!”

Most of us have friends like the one in this story: they will stand by our sides in the good times, but at the first sign of trouble, they take off running–and in the process, leave us for the “bears”! But that’s not what genuine friendship is about.

Did you notice how our verse focuses on the role of friendship in hard times? Most of us want friends like the ones described in this passage–friends who will stick around through “thick and thin”. Unfortunately, it is hard to be a friend like that. Walking through tough times with others can be difficult! So how do we live out the kind of friendship described in this text?

If we are looking for an example of great friendship, we need to look no further than Jesus himself. In the Gospel of John, Jesus tells us:

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. (John 15:12-13)

Jesus showed his dedication to us by giving his life to save ours, despite our sin.

There is no question that Jesus is the most loyal friend we could ask for. Most of us want a friend like Jesus, but we aren’t always willing to be a friend like Jesus. As we strive to reflect Christ in all we say and do, my prayer is that we grow in the love we have for each other–displaying the type of friendship Jesus displayed for us.

Dear Lord, we thank You for the friends that You give each of us. Help us to be good friends to those You bring into our life. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Be friendly

Genesis 2:18 (ESV)

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

"I feel plain, unlikable and lonely," despairs Frank, a bright teenager from a loving home. "It seems nobody wants to be my friend — or at least my really good friend. What's wrong with me?"

Like Frank, many of us experience loneliness, some more than others. The truth is that all people, no matter what their age — even the most outgoing, wealthy and popular — experience loneliness at least occasionally. But sporadic feelings along this line are light years away from facing the rejection of peers on a day in, day out basis. That's how Frank feels. Nearly every day he wakes up to a world where it seems no one his age cares.

Perhaps you can relate to Frank. You've been there. Or you are there. Or maybe it's just that you're lonely more often than you'd like to be. You'd like to have more friends. Or at least one or two very special friends you can count on.

It’s healthy and natural to want to be around people who care. After all, from the very beginning of time, God has said that it is not good for man to be alone. We've all heard the phrase "No man is an island." It's true. We all need others in our lives.

How do I make friends?

Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, offers counsel in Proverbs 18:24 on the subject of friendship. He explains that if we want friends, we must be friendly and reach out to others. But reaching out involves risk. Perhaps you think, What if they don't like me? What if they embarrass me in some way? Because we are often afraid of rejection, many of us are unwilling to reach out to others. We take a safer approach and wait for others to befriend us. But if we want friends, we've got to get beyond this. We must realize it is our responsibility to make friends. So just how do we go about it?

Here are some great actions to take if your goal is to make more friends.

Be willing to take the initiative. If you see someone whom you would like to know, don't wait for her to make the first move. Approach her and begin a conversation. Invite her over to your house or to church or a youth activity. Let her know in a nonaggressive, nonthreatening manner that you are interested in being friends.

Reach out to those who are lonely. When you see someone at school or at church sitting alone, go over and sit with her. Talk to her and get to know a little bit about her. And don't let popularity determine whom you reach out to. You'll often be surprised at the beautiful qualities hiding behind a shy or awkward appearance. When you break the ice by demonstrating that you love and care, you receive love and care in return.

Ask questions. People always like talking about themselves, so initiate your first conversation by asking this potential friend what they like to do. Show interest. Be sure to ask questions that cannot be answered yes or no. For instance, don't ask, "Do you have a dog?" Instead say, "So, tell me about your pets." This gives your potential friend an opportunity to elaborate on the question, not end it awkwardly with a one-word answer. Even more important than asking the right questions is listening (and remembering) the answers.

Be friendly and smile. Be warm and friendly to others. Smile ... a lot. We all enjoy being around someone whose face reflects happiness. So make sure you approach your potential friend(s) with warmth and body language that sends an "I care" message.

Be patient. Give friendship time to grow. Many times we scare away potential friends by sharing or expecting too much, too soon. Allow your friend time to get to know you, and give yourself time to know her before you share the deeper things of your life. Remember, when you give anyone some of your heart, you are giving that person a precious gift. Therefore, you want to present it to someone who will treasure it. That means you will want to know that your friend is trustworthy. But it takes time, so don't rush the process.

Remember, not everyone will like you. None of us wants to be rejected. Yet, we must realize that sometimes when we reach out, people will decline our offer of friendship. That's okay. Remember that friendship involves risk. And we can only have so many friends. If you have three or four intimate friends in a lifetime, you can consider yourself fortunate. For one thing, you only have a limited amount of time to invest in relationships. If you seek too many friends, you will shortchange yourself; you'll find you do not have a real closeness with any of them. Intimacy takes time and investment. When you discover that your efforts at finding a true friend haven't succeeded, don't give up. Just begin the process all over again. It's truly worth it when someone responds and a great friendship is formed!

We need to be willing to slowly share our hearts and allow our friends to do so as well. Everyone is fearful of rejection, but someone has to reach out first. We must be willing to take risks, realizing we really have nothing to lose . . . and a lot to gain. As we seek genuine friends and live the message of King Solomon — if we want friends we must be friendly — we will discover that this biblical principle really works. Just don't give up!

Dear Lord, help us to be more friendly so that we can share Your love with those that come into our life. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Being a good friend

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Being a good friend isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it takes hard work. However, being a good friend is something that with God’s help can be accomplished. Here are some ideas on how to become a good friend.

1.  Be Friendly – If you want to have friends you must begin by being friendly. Proverbs 18:24 – A man that hath friends must show himself friendly.  If you want to have good friends you’ve got to begin by being friendly. Focus on going out of your way to talk to others. By being friendly, and talking to others, you’ll find that you attract more friends.

2.  Be There – If you have a friend that is going through a hard time, don’t bail on them. Stick around and just be there for them. Many times you might not know what to say or do, but you just being there will mean a lot to your friend.

3.  Listen – A good friend listens to others. Do you spend all the time talking and dominating the conversation? If you do, perhaps take some time to spend listening to others. People will want to be around you more if you’re willing to listen to them.

4.  Be Light –  One of the best ways you can be a good friend is by letting your life show others how good Jesus is. Let your friends know what a difference Jesus has made in your life. Don’t hide your relationship with God, but let that relationship shine though in all you do.

Being a good friend takes work, but it is worth it. When you develop good habits in your friendships, you’ll find that you become the type of person others want to be around. Become a good friend so that you can help lead others to know Christ.

Dear Lord, we thank You for being our friend! We pray that we would be good friends to those around us. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.

Friendship

Proverbs 18:24 (ESV)

A man of many companions may come to ruin,

    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

When I was younger, it was pretty easy to make and keep friends. Conflicts seemed to be dealt with quite easily. But as I’ve gotten older, friendships have become more and more complicated. There are more factors involved and conflicts can run deeper between my friends and I. We become more defensive, and find it harder to forgive and forget. I’ve found that as you get older friendships can become harder to make and harder to maintain.

God is relational and God has made us relational people. So why do we find relationships such hard work? Ever since Adam and Eve our world has been marked by strained relationships.

The book of Proverbs spends much time describing and defining friendship. One of the prime qualities of a friend is loyalty. There are friends who merely pretend. But there is friendship that goes deeper and shows more loyalty than that of a brother. According to Proverbs there will always be fair-weather friends. But a true friend will be there through thick and thin. In case we think only of the friendship we hope to receive, we are told to give this kind of loyalty.

Another quality of friendship in Proverbs is Honest Counsel. A true friend must be lovingly honest and should help shape their friend’s character.

Like a surgeon, friends cut you in order to heal you. If a friend says hard words to you out of love, this is better than kisses from an enemy. True friends will rebuke you when necessary; point out where you are going wrong. This is never easy to do, and unless you are a real friend, you probably won’t say anything negative. So if a friend of yours is sinning in some way that comes to your attention, the loving thing to do is lovingly, gently confront them.

Likewise if a friend pulls you up on something they think you are sinning in, don’t go defensive or counter attack, accept their words as words of love. For true friends counsel and encourage each other

Friends become wiser together through a healthy difference in points of view. Counsel and healthy disagreement in a friendship can make life sweeter and you sharper. A true friendship will have both elements. So be honest, frank and open with your friends.

That’s the character of true friendship. How do you stack up? Are you an honest and loyal friend? Can you say the hard words to your friends? When you friend goes through a hard time are you the first one there with a hug and phone call or prayer? Or are you nowhere to be found?

Real friends always let you in, and they never let you down.

Dear Lord, we pray that we would be a good friend to those You have given to us. Use us to help make them better. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.